We like to say our love story began the day I was “professionally” judging a bikini modelling competition—and she was “professionally” deciding I was the one. She took one look at me—clearly dazzled by my world-class judging skills—and immediately made it her mission to track me down. Within hours she had followed me on Instagram, launched a full-scale social-media surveillance operation, and basically fell in love with me on the spot. After a lovely curry and a few beers (…quite a few), I finally decided to follow back—while still pretending to play it cool, like I wasn’t already plotting our future from the moment she slid into my notifications.​